SUNDAY        7 - 13 - 08

   I TOLD " SVEN " AND " SPIDERETTE "......" THERE IS TWO THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO HAPPEN HERE. ONE , I AM GOING TO YELL AND SCREAM AND SLAP THE BAR LIKE A MENTAL PATIENT OR TWO , QUIETLY LEAVE THE BAR AND NOT SAY A WORD. "  IT ENDED UP THE FIRST STATEMENT.  I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY AS " SVEN " LEAPT BACK ONE TIME AS I JUMPED FROM MY BARSTOOL.

   HERE'S WHY I MADE THAT STATEMENT AND WHY I MADE THE LOUD REACTIONS:

  AT 4:20 I FINISHED MY PROJECTS AND CLEANING AT THE NAIL.  MY HAPPY HOUR WAS OKAY AS SOME REGULARS CAME IN , BUT THIS HAPPY HOUR HAS POTENTIAL TO BE THE BEST EVER.

   I DECIDED TO RELAX AND JUST CHILL AND ENTER A $20 ( UNLIMITED RE-BUY ) TO GAIN ACCESS TO A $530 BUY- IN , $150,000 TOURNAMENT NEXT WEEK.   THIS IS SOME SERIOUS STUFF HERE AND FAR FROM RELAXING.  BY THE END OF THE RE-BUY PERIOD IT WAS LIKE PLAYING AGAINST 42 PLAYERS.  1ST PLACE RECEIVED THE TICKET TO ENTER NEXT WEEK'S BIG TOURNEY AND 2ND PLACE RECEIVED $70. 

  HERE WE GO:

  I MAKE THE FINAL TABLE WITHOUT RE-BUYING.  WITH 6 PLAYERS LEFT ALMOST EVERYONE IS RE-BUYING SINGLE OR DOUBLE TIMES TO GAIN MORE CHIPS.  I DECIDED NOT TO.  BY THE END OF THE FIRST HOUR 6 PLAYERS REMAINED AND I WAS THE SHORT STACK.  MY PHILOSOPHY WAS ONLY PLAY BIG HANDS AND GO " ALL IN ".  THIS WORKED WELL AS I WON ALL MY RACES.  I WAS THE FAVORITE EVERY TIME......NO SUCK OUTS AGAINST ME.

   BLINDS ARE GETTING SUBSTANTIAL AND THERE ARE 4 PLAYERS LEFT.  TWO PLAYERS ARE HUGE CHIP LEADERS AND TWO PLAYERS ARE SHORT STACKS. I AM STILL THE SHORT STACK AND THINKING , " WELL , IF I JUST HANG AROUND ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN ".  ME AND ANOTHER PLAYER ARE 4 - 1 DOGS IN CHIPS.  BOTH HIMSELF AND I WORK THE LARGE STACKS AS THEY CALL ARE VERY GOOD HANDS WITH ALMOST ANYTHING.  BETWEEN US , WE ELIMINATE THE 2ND PLACE CHIP LEADER BY THE END OF THE SECOND HOUR.

  THAN THERE WAS 3.   I AM 2ND IN CHIPS.  NOW THE TOP TWO GET CASHED HERE......ONE , THE BIG PRIZE OF THE $150,000  ENTRY FEE AND 2ND IS $70.  THE SHORT STACK MAKES A BAD MOVE BY GOING " ALL IN " WITH A WEAK ACE AS THE CHIP LEADER PRE-RAISED HIM.  HE ELIMINATES HIM ON A STRONG HAND WITH AN ACE.  NOW , IT IS ME AND THE CHIP LEADER. HE HAS 39,000 IN CHIPS. I HAVE 8,700.  HE IS MORE THAN A 4-1 FAVORITE.

  SCENARIO ONE :

   I BET AT EVERY POT AFTER THE FLOP AND WIN ALMOST EVERY TIME.  THE CHIP LEADER BECOMES PASSIVE AND DECIDES TO WAIT FOR A GOOD HAND.  I TAKE THE CHIP LEAD BY 7,000 CHIPS ONLY TO LOSE IT WHEN HE CALLS MY " ALL IN ".  I HAD POCKET 4'S. HE  HAD POCKET KINGS.

   SCENARIO TWO :

  AGAIN I AM DOWN BY OVER 4 - 1 IN CHIPS , BUT I DUPLICATE MY PLAYING AND AGAIN GAIN THE CHIP LEAD.  AGAIN I GO " ALL IN " ( WITH THE BEST HAND ) AND LOSE.  HE KNOCKS ME DOWN TO JUST 5,000 CHIPS.  HE HAS OVER 40,000.  THE BLINDS ARE 1,000 AND 2,000.  I AM SCREWED.

   SCENARIO THREE :

  I AM TOTALLY BUMMING THAT I LOST THE RACE TO WIN IT ALL.  I GO " ALL IN " WITH A GOOD ACE. HE CALLS WITH 5-6 SUITED. I DOUBLE UP. I GO " ALL IN " AGAIN WITH QUEEN / KING SUITED.  I DOUBLE UP AGAIN.  I AM DOWN BUT RIGHT BACK IN IT.  CHIP COUNT....HE HAS 29,000 AND I HAVE ABOUT 20,000.  I SAY TO MYSELF , " THIS HAS TO BE FATE TO COME BACK 3 TIMES ! ".  AGAIN I PLAY AGGRESSIVE AND ALMOST EVEN THE CHIP COUNT.  I FOUGHT ALL THE WAY BACK FOR A 3RD TIME.

  THE FINAL HAND............I DECIDE TO SLOW PLAY POCKET KINGS.  I JUST CALL FROM THE SMALL BLIND.  I WANTED HIM TO RAISE ME AND I KNEW HE WAS GETTING FRUSTRATED BY ME OUT PLAYING HIM AFTER THE FLOP.  HE DOES RE-RAISE ME WITH KING / 5 OFF SUIT.  THE TRAP WAS SET AND IGNITED.  I RE-RAISE " ALL IN "AND HE DECIDES TO MAKE HIS STAND.  LITTLE DID HE KNOW I WAS A HUGE FAVORITE. NEEDLESS TO SAY I WON THE HAND AND HE HAD ENOUGH CHIPS TO ONLY PLAY ONE MORE HAND.  I WON IT AND THE TOURNEY ENDED.  I WAS ENTERED INTO THE HUGE TOURNAMENT NEXT WEEK.  MY HANDS WERE SHAKING AS I COULD NOT BELIEVE I JUST DID THIS.

  I MUST THANK " SVEN " AND " SPIDERETTE " FOR GOING ALONG WITH THIS , THOUGH AS I WROTE IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS THREAD.........I DID WARN THEM OF MY ACTIONS.

   NEXT WEEK AT 4:30PM , I WILL BE AT THE NAIL PLAYING IN THIS HUGE HUGE TOURNAMENT FOR SOME PRETTY BIG MONEY.

   BIG BILL COMES IN AT THE END OF MY SHIFT.  I TELL HIM I HAVE THREE STORIES TO TELL HIM.  ONE - THE ABOVE STUFF I JUST WROTE AS HE WENT ON THE INTERNET POKER SITE AND SAW MY NAME AS THE SATELLITE WINNER.  TWO - OUR RADIO SHOW WILL BE MEETING WITH A BIG WIG ON THURSDAY AND THREE...........SEE BELOW :

   WHEELS AND BIG BILL ARE HANGING OUT AT THE NAIL.  AFTER A LITTLE TIME PASSES BILL STARTS ACTING FUNNY.  HE GRABS HIS CHEST AND TURNS TO WHEELS. SHE SAYS , " ARE YOU ALRIGHT ? " HE REPLIES , " I THINK I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK. "  WHEELS QUICKLY GETS HIM IN HER CAR AND DRIVES HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.  SHE SAYS  , " I WILL TAKE YOU TO UNIVERSITY OF PENN ".  BILL , STILL IN PAIN , YELLS OUT, " NO , NO , NO , !   I AM NOT GOING THERE.  TAKE ME TO JEFFERSON ! " HE IS VERY INSISTENT AND SHE DOES.  THEY ARRIVE AT THE HOSPITAL AND BIG BILL GOES INTO CONVULSIONS AS THEY ENTER THE BUILDING.  HE IS PUT IN A WHEEL CHAIR AND THE DOCTOR RUNS UP WITH A NEEDLE.  HE INSERTS IT UNDER BILL'S CHIN AND INOCULATES HIM WITH THE INJECTION.  IT STOPS HIS HEART ATTACK AND BILL IS OKAY.............................WHEEL'S DREAM ENDS.

   A VERY GOOD WIN BY THE FIGHTIN' PHILS AS THEY GO INTO THE ALL STAR BREAK AS DIVISION LEADERS.

   MONDAY       7 - 14 - 08

  SOMETIMES NOT A WHOLE LOT TO WRITE ABOUT.  I HAD A FUN HAPPY HOUR WHILE CLEANING , PAINTING , FIXING A VACUUM , AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT LANGUAGE A CUSTOMER WAS SPEAKING TO ME IN.  BUT OVERALL , ALWAYS FUN ESPECIALLY WHEN BIG BILL SHOWS UP.  HIM REPEATING FAMOUS NORM QUOTES FROM CHEERS.....PRETTY DAMN FUNNY.

   I TOLD EVERYONE I PREDICTED CHASE UTLEY WOULD COMPLETELY BOMB IN THE HOMERUN DERBY.  WELL......HE DID.  SO MUCH SO HE DROPPED THE " F " WORD ON LIVE TV. 

   BEANS....LIKE THE NEW HAIRDO.  I'M NOT BEING GAY OR ANYTHING ( NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT ), BUT JUST THOUGHT A COMPLEMENT WAS IN ORDER SINCE I HAVE NO HAIR TO COLOR OR COMB.  JEALOUS I GUESS.

   FOR ANY OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW POOL WILL BE AT THE NAIL TONIGHT.  OUR TEAM SOOOOO HAS THE HOTTEST TWO GIRLS.  IT IS WORTH THE FREE ADMISSION JUST TO WATCH THEM SHOOT.  SOON , WE WILL GET BIGGER TABLES AND HIDE ALL BRIDGE STICKS. ( POOL PLAYERS WILL KNOW THAT JOKE ).

   LOOKING FORWARD TO MY MEETING WITH THE EX-BIG EXEC FROM Y-100.  SO YOUR SAYING WE HAVE A CHANCE ?

   APPLE

    TUESDAY           7 - 15 - 08

  POWER WASHERS ARE LIKE CRACK.  MY NEIGHBOR LENDS ME A POWER WASHER.  I STARTED CLEANING STUFF THAT HASN'T BEEN CLEANED IN YEARS.  I COULDN'T STOP,  FROM POTTED PLANT HOLDERS TO BBQ'S  TO SEAT CUSHIONS FOR PATIO FURNITURE TO THE ACTUAL PATIO.  VERY ADDICTIVE.  I FOUND MYSELF SLIGHTLY LATE FOR POOL BECAUSE I LOST TRACK OF TIME.

  SPEAKING OF POOL.........THIS WAS A WEIRD NIGHT.  OUR TEAM DID WELL , BUT THEIR WAS CONTROVERSY, FORFEITS , AND JUST WEIRD LUCK ........BOTH GOOD AND BAD.  THE ONLY THING I DID WAS CONCENTRATE ON MY TEAM MATE'S BODY.  SHE IS TOO F'N CUTE.  MY FANTASY CAME TRUE AS HER AND WHEEL'S PLAYED POOL TOGETHER AS TEAM MATES.  MY PLAN IS WORKING.

  SOME WEIRDO COMES IN WHO APPARENTLY SEVERAL BARTENDERS KNOW BUT I DON'T.  ANYWAY , HE IMMEDIATELY TRIED TO PICK UP THE TWO HOTTEST GIRLS IN THE NAIL WHICH HAPPEN TO BE ON MY TEAM.  THIS WAS A CROSS BETWEEN FLOUNDER OF THE MOVIE " ANIMAL HOUSE " SAYING " ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING CARDS " AND THE INDIAN DUDE OF THE MOVIE " BEER FEST " LEAVING A BAR SUPER DRUNK THINKING HE IS WITH A SUPER HOT CHICK WHEN IN REALITY THE GIRL WEIGHED A 1/2 TON.  OMG.........MEN ARE THE WORST ARE TRYING TO BE COOL.

  CONGRATS TO MY TEAM MATE ON BECOMING AN AUNT FOR THE 2ND TIME.  HER SISTER HAD A BABY BOY TONIGHT.  MY FANTASY WOULD BE THE SAME SCENARIO WITH HER.

   GOTTA THANK MY NEIGHBORS FOR TAKING OUR KIDS TO THEIR POOL AND BABY SITTING.

  SARAH SILVERMAN BREAKS UP WITH JIMMY KIMMEL.  LITTLE GOSSIP FOR YA.

    WEDNESDAY         7 - 16 - 08

  THIS WAS A FUN NIGHT , BUT FIRST :

  JUST WHEN I COULD NOT GET ANYMORE ENVIOUS OF " BULL ".......HE GOES UP ANOTHER RUNG.

   BARTENDER BECOMING A COP.  1ST PHASE IS COMPLETE.  DAMN , BEING HANDCUFFED BY HER WOULD NOT BE SO BAD.  CONGRATS KID......LIKE I SAID , YOU DESERVE A BIT OF GOOD LUCK.

   BIG BILL........ALWAYS MAKES IT ENTERTAINING.  HE WAS PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT A CERTAIN PICTURE HE SAW.  I HAD TO KNOCK HIM DOWN BY SENDING HIM A SIMILAR PICTURE.  I DID INCLUDE " BULL " ON THE RECEIVING END.

   PLAYING POOL WITH " TEEK ".  WISH I HAD MORE TIME TO PLAY MORE THAN ONE GAME , BUT I AM ALWAYS RUNNING AROUND.

   " WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ? " WHEEL'S SAYS.  I REPLY , " JUST DO IT ".  HER EYE SIGHT WAS JAUNTED AND SHE TOOK A PICTURE OF ME WITH NOT SO MUCH CLOTHES ON.  THE LAST LINE WAS THE BEST AS SHE IS READY TO CLICK THE PICTURE............." UMMM , DO YOU WANT TO BE " HANGING " OUT FOR THE PICTURE ? " I APOLOGIZED AND ADJUSTED MYSELF.  I AM SO LARGE IT JUST POPS OUT.

   FLAGGED.......I MET THIS WONDERING HARMLESS PSYCHO ON TUESDAY NIGHT.  OUR BARTENDER DREW A PERFECT PICTURE OF A " SCREW " , A PLUS SIGN , AND THAN A BASEBALL WHEN DESCRIBING HIM.  WELL , " SCREW BALL " WAS SPOT ON AND HE CAME IN TONIGHT.  I SAID TO EVERYONE , " MY ANTENNAS ARE UP AND HE WILL GET KICKED OUT TONIGHT.  NOT 20 MINUTES LATER AND HITTING ON EVERY GIRL IN THE BAR HE DOES.  APPARENTLY HE PISSED OFF A BOYFRIEND.  TWIZZ AND I ESCORTED HIM OUT.  I TOLD HIM........DONE.

   BLISTER ON MY HAND BY REMOVING CLIPS FROM MARQUEE LETTERS AND THAN RE-GLUING THEM.  3 HOURS OF IT.  A PROJECT I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO DO FOR SO LONG.  I ALSO WILL BE MAILING A CLIP TO TRY TO GET DUPLICATED BY A COMPANY WHO SENT ME FREE SAMPLES.

   OIL DOWN $10 A BARREL IN THE LAST 2 DAYS.  THIS JUST AFTER THE PRESIDENT HAD A SPEECH ON CCN.  BASICALLY , WE MUST DRILL DRILL DRILL ON OUR HOME LAND.

   I FORGOT , JAY OF DROPPIN DEUCE SENT ME A TEXT ABOUT HIS BAR/CLUB ON THE BEACH IS HAVING SOME BIG GIG THIS SATURDAY NIGHT.  I CAN'T MAKE IT BUT I TOLD JAY OB WHO WE HOOKED UP AT OUR PLACE IN NORTH WILDWOOD.  I TALKED TO " OB " TONIGHT......SO JEALOUS.  I AM JONESING FOR THE BEACH.

   A VERY GOOD CROWD FOR A WEDNESDAY NIGHT.  SOME REGULARS AND MANY NEW FACES SEEMED TO ENJOY THE WHOLE EVENING ( LESS ME KICKING OUT THE DUMBASS )

   BAND REVIEWS :

   GREEN DAY - A GOOD SOLID 4 PIECE BAND.  THEY MIX QUICK PACE , ALTERNATIVE ROCK AND GRUNGE INTO THE ENTIRE SET.   THEIR MAINLY PUNK FEEL WILL BE POPULAR.  THE SONGS ARE VERY RADIO FRIENDLY AND I SEE THEM BEING QUITE SUCCESSFUL IN THE NEAR FUTURE.  OVERALL , I REALLY DUG THIS BAND.

  JAMES EVANS - I HOPE I HAVE THE NAME RIGHT.  A 4 PIECE BAND WOULD SOME GOOD DIVERSITY.  A RANGE OF PUNK TO ALTERNATIVE TO PROGRESSIVE ROCK WAS WELL PRESENTED.  I MET MOST OF THE BAND MEMBERS AND THEY SEEM VERY COOL AND PROFESSIONAL.  SEVERAL SONGS REMINDED ME OF THE " B 52'S ".  BUT OVERALL , THEY DID A GOOD JOB OF MIXING LYRICS WITH PACE.  A POP PUNK SOUND THAT WAS AVERTED FROM SONG TO SONG BY MIXING IT UP.  CHANGING PACE IS CRUCIAL ( I THINK ) IN A PREPARED SET.  BEING DIVERSE KEEPS THE AUDIENCE 'S ATTENTION. I DUG THIS BAND.

     THURSDAY         7 - 17 - 08

   THE BIG NEWS.  I MET WITH MR. " R " , THE PRESIDENT OF BRANDYWINE RADIO.  I TRIED TO BE AS QUIET AS POSSIBLE AND LET HIM TALK ABOUT THE WAYS OF RADIO.  HE GAVE ME SOME INSIGHT ON HOW THIS BUSINESS WORKS.  I APPRECIATE THAT. SO , INFORMATION IS HELPFUL , BUT HOW WILL THIS UNIONIZE BRANDYWINE RADIO AND LIVE AT THE NAIL?  HE TOLD ME......" CHRIS , WE NEED TO PROMOTE ".  HE SHOWED ME BROCHURES AND FLYERS THAT HE WILL BE MAILING OUT. NEWSPAPER ADS AND SUCH WILL BE USED AS WAYS OF FLOODING THE AREA.  AGAIN , WHERE DO WE COME IN ?  I DO NOT HAVE THE KNOW  HOW TO CONTACT AND CONVINCE COMPANIES FOR SPONSORSHIP.  HE DOES.  THIS IS GOOD.......REAL GOOD.   OVER 40 YEARS EXPERIENCE AND PRESIDENT OF THIS FLEDGLING COMPANY WANTS TO PROMOTE OUR SHOW ON HIS RADIO STATION.   THIS WILL START WITHIN 30 DAYS.  HE WILL BASICALLY BECOME OUR BOOKING/SELLING AGENT.  I HAVE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME FOR SOMEONE TO STEP UP AND BECOME OUR PROMOTER.  HE HAS THE KNOW HOW AND EXPERIENCE TO DO THIS.  A TENTATIVE SLOT FOR OUR RADIO SHOW WILL BE SATURDAY NIGHTS AT 9PM.  HE HAS AGREED TO PICK UP OUR SHOW.  HE HAS LOTS OF IDEAS TO RAISE AWARENESS AND MONEY FOR SPONSORSHIP.  I WILL HELP WITH THE CONTACTS THAT I KNOW.  THIS COULD BE A SMALL STEP TO COMMERCIAL RADIO FOR US.  WE NEED RECOGNITION FIRST THAN..........WHO KNOWS.

   SO...........HAVE ANY IDEAS OR CORPORATE BIG WIGS THAT WOULD POSSIBLY WANT TO SPONSOR OUR SHOW.    AND I AM TALKING CHEAP HERE NOT 1000'S OF DOLLARS.  ANY IDEAS ARE APPRECIATED.  I WILL MAKE A LONG LIST THIS WEEKEND SO SHOOT ME AN E-MAIL IF INTERESTED.

   IS IT ME OR DOES OUR FUTURE POLICE OFFICER / BARTENDER LOOK THE BEST I HAVE EVER SEEN HER.  SORRY , BUT HANGING WITH ALAN AND " B " AND TALKING ABOUT GIVING HAND JOBS TO CLINT EASTWOOD SO ONE CAN BED JESSICA ALBA WAS TOO GAY.   THOUGH I WOULD SOOOOOO GIVE THE BEST " TWIST AND TURN " TO CLINT. MAN I DIG ALBA. I GUESS THE GAY TALK IGNITED MY MAN GENES.

  FIRST TIME A GUY FROM TEXAS CAME TO THE NAIL FOR OUR INFAMOUS BLUES NIGHT.  HE BROKE OUT HIS GUITAR AND STARTED SINGING TO ME AND " B ".  IT WAS KINDA GAY , BUT HE WAS PRETTY GOOD AS HE SUNG NEIL YOUNG.

  I DON'T GET IT.  WHEN SOMEONE ORDERS SOMETHING. I DON'T CARE IF IT IS A SWEATER , BRA , SANDWICH , FOOTBALL , BEER , OR ASS.  WHAT IS THE FIRST THING THE CUSTOMER SHOULD DO WHEN THE PRODUCT IS DELIVERED RIGHT TO YOU ?  ANY GUESSES ?   HOW ABOUT PAYING FOR IT ! WHY DO PEOPLE ORDER A BEER AND NOT PUT MONEY ON THE BAR OR HAVE IT READY FOR YOU.  OUR TEXAN FRIEND SEEMED TO WONDER EACH TIME I COME AROUND.  KINDA IRRITATED ME ALITTLE........JUST ALITTLE.  I WON'T GET INTO PEOPLE BANGING GLASSES ON THE BAR TO BE RE-FILLED. I'LL LET BEANS OR BOO TELL THOSE STORIES.

   GOTTA THANK MY BROTHER FOR HOOKING ME UP WITH A NEW BACK DOOR.  OUR MOUNTAIN HOUSE SO DESPERATELY NEEDS ONE.

   HOME TO KIDS AND MORE KIDS OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD.  WE SAT ON THE PATIO AND HAD A COUPLE OF GLASSES OF WINE AND JUST ENJOYED THE PLEASANT EVENING.

  HAD A DREAM " BULL " BOUGHT A HOUSE ONE BLOCK FROM ME.  I HAD THIS WEIRD FEELING AND THAN MY LIVER HURT.

   " DON'T CONTACT ME UNTIL THAT GUY IS OUT OF YOUR BAND ".  THIS IS WHAT I APPARENTLY SAID YEARS AGO.  I AM GLAD I FORGET THINGS BECAUSE MY MEMORY BLOWS , BUT I ALWAYS LIKED THIS BAND.  I FORGET WHY I WAS SO MAD AT THEM AND I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER.  BIG PIMP JONES WILL BE RETURNING TO THE NAIL.

   I HAVE 3 LARGE PROJECTS I WOULD LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH IN THE NEXT 60 DAYS.  THE CATEGORIES ARE ..........RADIO , REAL ESTATE , AND FINANCIAL.   I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

     FRIDAY       7 - 18 - 08

   FIXING MY PLASTIC POOL.  WHAT A HASSLE.  A PIN HOLE LEAK CAUSED THIS INFLATABLE RING TO DEFLATE EVERY 24 HOURS.  I DECIDED TODAY........I MUST FIND IT.  AN HOUR LATER THE LEAK WAS CONTAINED AND I WAS SWIMMING WITH THE KIDS.

  " GOOD , NOW WE CAN HAMMER YOUR BOOZE CABINET ".  WE GOT INVITED TO MY BROTHER-IN-LAW'S HOUSE. HE USUALLY COMES TO OUR HOUSE BUT THE TABLES TURNED TONIGHT AND IT WAS FUN. I LOVE GOING THERE FOR SEVERAL REASONS.  HE IS A MEMBER OF THIS WORLD WIDE BEER CLUB SO HE GETS DIFFERENT BEERS FROM AROUND THE GLOBE.  SO REALLY GOOD STUFF.  ADD CHAMBORD TO THE MIX AND I WILL BE KNOCKING OVER DRINKS BY THE END OF THE NIGHT......WHICH I DID.   ANOTHER REASON I LOVE GOING OVER THERE..........HAND - ME - DOWNS.   THOUGH HIS HAND-ME-DOWNS ARE LIKE BRAND NEW.   WE WENT " SHOPPING " IN HIS BASEMENT ( 1400 SQUARE FEET.....BIGGER THAN OUR CONDO AT THE SHORE ) FOR SOME REALLY GOOD STUFF.

  THE LIST :  EXCELLENT CONDITION " SQUARE TWO GOLF CLUBS WITH BAG AND BIG BERTHA DRIVER " , A DOUBLE SHELF , 8 MINI BLINDS , TOMATO PLANT WIRED TOWERS , PICTURES , AND SOME OTHERS TRINKETS.   ALL GOOD.

   MY NEPHEW AND NIECE ALWAYS SEEM TO DO STUFF TO ME.  SQUIRTING WATER , THROWING PILLOWS , ETC.  I ASKED MY 11 YEAR OLD NEPHEW , " WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE EVERYONE DOES STUFF TOO ? " HE RESPONDS , " BECAUSE YOU'RE THE CRAZY UNCLE THAT DOES FUN STUFF TO US. "

   THE KIDS ENDING UP SLEEPING OVER. THEY WILL MEET TOMORROW AT THEIR IN-LAWS HUGE HOME WITH A POOL FOR SWIMMING.

  THE HEAT IS ON.  MAN DID IT GET HOT.

   JAY OB HEADING TO OUR CONDO.  WE HOOKED THEM UP ESPECIALLY WITH CHECK IN AND CHECK OUT TIMES ALONG WITH SOME OTHER STUFF.  I AM SO JEALOUS.  THE TEMPS HERE WILL BE HIGH 90'S..........AT THE SHORE........LOW 80'S.  PREFECT SHORE WEATHER.

   BATMAN SETS RECORD FOR MIDNIGHT SHOWING.......18 MILLION.

   BIGGEST 3 DAY DROP IN OIL A BARREL IN 5 YEARS.

   BIGGEST 3 DAY HIKE IN THE DOW IN 5 YEARS.  ( $16 DOWN )

    HMMMM.....COULD THE MARKET TURN BULL.....ISH  ( 400 POINTS UP )

    SATURDAY          7 - 19 - 08

   MANY THINGS HAPPENING TODAY BUT WHAT WAS THE FUNNIEST ?

 KIDS HAVE BIRTHDAY PARTIES , SLEEP OVER'S , SWIM CLUB ACTIVITIES , THE NAIL HAS PUB CRAWL OF 50 - 60 PEOPLE , PHILLIES PLAYING AN AFTERNOON GAME , ALOTTA LAUGHS AT HAPPY HOUR.......YEP ALL THESE HAPPEN , BUT WHAT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME AT 4:30PM ?

   BECAUSE OF THE PUB CRAWL I HAD A BARTENDER COME IN ( THANKS BY THE WAY ) AND I HEADED HOME TO CONCENTRATE ON MY BIG GAME COMING UP.  MAYBE I SHOULD OF STAYED.

  MY HUGE INTERNET POKER TOURNEY.  266 PLAYERS FOR $150,000.  THE TOP 36 WOULD " CASH ".  I WAS EXCITED TO SAY THE LEAST.  SOON IT WOULD TURN TO MELANCHOLY.

  A STREAK OF BAD CARDS NULLIFIED ME FROM ANY "CASHING" IN THIS TOURNAMENT. I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH BAD CARDS.  I FIGURE THEY WERE GETTING ME BACK FOR SNEAKING IN THIS TOURNAMENT ON A $20 SATELLITE.  IF I WON 20 POTS.........18 WERE BLUFFS. 

  SEVERAL SIGNIFICANT DOWNFALLS.  WITH POCKET 2'S I FOLD TO A SMALL RAISE.  OF COURSE A 2 COMES OUT ON THE TURN.......I WOULD OF TRIPLED UP.   THIS IS THE ONLY PLAY I REGRET IN THE 3 HOURS I PLAYED.

  I HAVE ACE/QUEEN AND GO ALL IN BY RAISING 12 TIMES THE POT.  A CHIP LEADER CALLS WITH ACE / 3.   THE FLOP HAS A QUEEN AND A 3 ON IT AND ALL DIAMONDS.  TWO MORE DIAMONDS COME AND IT IS A SPLIT POT.  I DOMINATED THIS HAND AND FELT IF I DOUBLED UP HERE I WOULD OF CASHED.  I COULD NOT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD ABOUT THE SCENARIO OF THIS HAND AS I PLAYED LONGER.

   WELP , I CAME IN 88TH AND WAS VERY MELANCHOLY WHEN GETTING OUSTED.  I FELT ANY KIND OF DECENT CARDS I COULD OF MADE A RUN.   DOUBLING UP WITH THE BEST HANDS WOULD OF HELPED TOO. 

   I GOT HAMMERED AND WATCH A MOVIE CALL " CHUCK AND LARRY " WITH ADAM SANDLER AND JESSICA BIEL ( SO F' N HOT ).  ACTUALLY NOT A BAD LITTLE MOVIE.

    SUNDAY      7 - 21 - 08

   ANOTHER HAPPY HOUR OF CLEANING AND FIXING.  I FOUND MYSELF ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR STUFF TO DO.  ONE IN PARTICULAR........THE BACK SINKS UNDER THE CUTTING BOARDS......NICE.

   A REGULAR COMES IN TODAY WHO USUALLY IS OKAY FOR THE MOST PART.  BUT THIS IS THE SECOND OR THIRD TIME HE HAS COME IN WITH A SMOKIN' GIRL.  I MEAN STOP THE PRESSES DROP DEAD GORGEOUS BODY.  A GOOD THING SHE LIKED PLAYING THE JUKEBOX AND POOL........NICE.  IT KEPT ME ENTERTAINED FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS.  I FELT LIKE ON THE BEACH WHEN YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES AND SEEMINGLY LOOKING THE OTHER WAY.  WOMEN CAN BRING DOWN KINGDOMS..........AND HAVE.

   GOTTA THANK BOO FOR THE CHARITY LAWN MOWER AND SVEN FOR COVERING MY LAST HOUR.  I DECIDED TO DO A GOOD DEED AND CUT AN OLD MAN'S LAWN IN TODAY'S HEAT.  I LEFT THE LAWN MOWER IN HIS GARAGE AS A GIFT.  NO TRADE WAS NECESSARY.  I FELT IF I WAS AT HIS AGE I WOULD WANT SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR ME.  THOUGH I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER CRACK 70 LET ALONE 84.

   BIG BILL.........JUST TOO FUNNY.

   RUM AND ICED TEA........NOT SO GOOD.

  CONTINUING THE " NICE ".  I WAS HEADING TO HOME DEPOT AND MY MOM ASKS ME TO PICK UP A TV MOUNT FOR HER BROTHER.  OF COURSE , IT WAS THE ONLY THING I FOUND AT HOME DEPO THAT I NEEDED.  MY MOM OFFERED TO PAY , BUT I TOLD HER , " TELL UNCLE " T " I GOT IT. "   GOOD DEEDS CREATE GOOD THINGS I BELIEVE.  BAD THINGS , WHEN YOUR A DICK ........ AKA TOW TRUCK DRIVER AND ROBBER.

   40 PROJECTS IN 40 HOURS.  THIS IS MY GOAL.

   DREAMS :

  - OLDER BROTHER BEING CRUSHED BY HUGE PILED LOGS LIKE YOU SEE ON THE NEW REALITY SHOW " AX MEN ".

  - ME LOOKING FOR WHEELS AT A HOTEL IN ANOTHER COUNTRY.  SHE HAS A NEW BORN BABY AND SHE SAID SHE WOULD MEET ME BACK AT OUR ROOM.  TWO PROBLEMS - I COULD NOT FIND THE ROOM EVEN WHEN I ASKED 5 DIFFERENT EMPLOYEES THERE AND WALKING THROUGH DOORS FROM ENTRANCES TO STEPS OR OTHER BUILDINGS WERE ONLY 18 INCHES WIDE.  I COULD BARELY GET THROUGH !   ( I THINK THIS DREAM HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY WEIGHT PROBLEM )

  - WE SOLD THE NAIL FOR $700,000.  I GAVE ALL OUR MONEY TO OUR INVESTING AGENT TO SECURE OUR FUTURE.  A COUPLE OF MONTHS LATER I CALL HIS COMPANY TO ASK FOR SOME MONEY TO PAY BILLS.  THE COMPANY TELLS ME HE LEFT AND MOVED TO A CARIBBEAN COUNTRY TWO MONTHS AGO.

  - THE SUPER HOT GIRL FROM TODAY OFFERED ME ASS. SHE SAID , " IF NO ONE WAS IN THE BAR RIGHT NOW , I WOULD SO LET YOU DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT TO ME.  ( OH WAIT , THAT WASN'T A DREAM. THAT WAS MY FANTASY FOR 2 HOURS WHILE I WAS CLEANING TODAY).

   MONDAY      7 - 21 - 08

   THIS IS MY 2ND TIME INSTALLING A MICROWAVE.  I HAVE COME TO THE REALIZATION AND CONCLUSION IT IS A PAIN IN THE BALLS.

    I HAVE COME TO THE REALIZATION AND CONCLUSION IT IS A PAIN IN THE BALLS WHEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY A FRIDGE LEAKS WATER FROM THE INSIDE.

   GETTING PROJECTS DONE AND HANGING WITH THE KIDS........ALWAYS GOOD.

   BOXED WINE , DON'T KNOCK IT I'M TELLIN YA.  IT LASTS A LONG TIME AND ONE CAN GET HAMMERED.

   WENT TO OUR LOCAL POOL TODAY.  I STAND UP AND GET READY TO HEAD HOME.    THE GOOD LOOKING LIFE GUARD WHOM I HAVE BEEN CAUGHT LOOKING AT SEVERAL TIMES FINALLY APPROACHES ME WITH A QUICK WALK AND SAYS , " YOU FORGOT YOUR SWIMMIES ".     KINDA DRAWS MY WHOLE ATTRACTIVENESS PICTURE INTO CONTEXT DOESN'T IT ?

   I TELL MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER , " YOU DRINK THE FRUIT PUNCH AND APPLE JUICE AND LEAVE THE ICED TEA'S FOR ME. I REALLY SHOULD NOT HAVE SUGARY STUFF. " SHE RESPONDS QUITE QUICKLY , " YOU ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BEER ."

   BOTH DAUGHTER'S , " DADDY CAN WE GET TOYS AT KMART ? " MY QUICK FAMILIAR DECISION IS , " NO , YOU HAVE A 1000 TOYS ALREADY. "  I JUST SAT DOWN AFTER A LONG DAY OF DOING ODD JOBS WITH A NICE BIG GLASS OF RED WINE AND LET OUT A PEACEFUL SIGH. MY OLDEST DAUGHTER SAYS , " WE'LL ASK AGAIN WHEN HE'S DRUNK. " ( I THINK MY YOUNGEST BROTHER WOULD APPRECIATE THAT LINE )

    TUESDAY            7 - 22 - 08

  YOU KNOW A GOOD THING IS GETTING SOMETHING FREE.  MY BROTHER WENT OUT OF HIS WAY FROM NEW JERSEY TO GIVE ME A 15 LIGHT 32 INCH DOOR.  A REALLY NICE DOOR THAT COMES WITH JAMBS AND BRICK TRIM.  IT WOULD BE PERFECT , BUT I COULD NOT REMEMBER THE SIZE OF THE DOOR THAT IS THERE NOW.  IT LOOKED SMALL TO THE EYE , BUT WHEN I MEASURED IT THEY WERE THE SAME.  NICE.........TAKE OUT OLD CRAPPY DOOR AND INSTALL NEW BEAUTIFUL DOOR RIGHT ?   WRONG.  LIKE ROSS PEROT ONCE SAID , " MEASURE TWICE , CUT ONCE. "  I NEVER THOUGHT OF MEASURING THE HEIGHT OF THE DOOR BECAUSE THEY USUALLY COME A STANDARD SIZE.  THE NEW DOOR WAS 3 INCHES HIGHER......HOLY SHIT WAS THIS A PROJECT.  I DECIDED TO CUT OUT THE FLOOR AND TOP HEADER EACH BY 1 1/2 INCHES THUS TOTALING 3 INCHES.  WHAT A PROJECT.  THE DOOR IS INSTALLED WITH THE OLD HARDWARE.  TOMORROW I NEED TO TAKE A RIDE TO A LUMBER YARD FOR LONGER TRIM TO BE CUSTOM CUT AND ATTACHED.

   KIDS GO TO THE POOL WHILE I STAYED AT HOME WITH THE DOOR. I FELT VERY COMFORTABLE LEAVING THEM THERE WITH OTHER PARENTS , A LIFEGUARD , MY CELL PHONE , AND THE WATER IS ONLY 3 FEET DEEP SO BOTH KIDS COULD EASILY STAND IN IT.  THEY WOULD CALL ME WHEN THEY WANTED TO COME HOME.

  CUTE......." DADDY , I USED YOUR CELL PHONE FOR LIKE A MINUTE TO CALL MY FRIEND ".  I REPLY , " LIKE ONLY A MINUTE ? YOU KNOW I CAN SEARCH MY CELL PHONE FOR THE CALL RECORDS AND SEE EXACTLY HOW LONG IT WAS.  WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL ME A DIFFERENT NUMBER ? "  SHE REPLIES , " AT THIS TIME I WOULD NOT ".

   BREAKFAST AT THE LOCAL DINER.  CHEAP AND HUGE PORTIONS.......NICE.

   ICE CREAM FOR THE KIDS.  WE TOOK A RIDE TO A NICE LITTLE PLACE IN TOWN.  IT WAS PACKED WITH FAT PEOPLE.  I FELT RIGHT A HOME.

   FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO TURNED THE PHILLIES GAME OFF......SHAME ON YOU.  ANY OTHER TEAM BUT THE METS AND I PROBABLY WOULD OF TOO.  PHILLIES RALLY 6 RUNS IN THE 9TH.  OH HOW SWEET TO WATCH MET FANS CRY.